No consequence
The clock seems to tick
louder today,
and when you left
I thought at first
it would be quiet –
except for the hum of the fridge, or
the occasional car travelling past
in cold, metallic determination,
never stopping (like you),
the driver just
a blur of speed
in a parallel universe,
always travelling
toward something or
away from something else,
on roads reflecting tail-lights
and wet with silent rain.
January 15th, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Listening to the fridge right now, Anne!
January 16th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
I hope it cheers, rather than chills, Eric.
Many thanks for reading.
January 16th, 2013 at 10:40 pm
Getting out a cheers now, girl!
January 15th, 2013 at 9:57 pm
Sad but very beautiful none the less. Always a treat to read your words.
Sincerely
Benjamin
January 16th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
You’re very kind, many thanks Benjamin.
January 15th, 2013 at 10:04 pm
There was a peaceful solitude in this poem for me..a sense of resolve.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Thanks very much, I’m glad you found peace here.
January 16th, 2013 at 1:59 am
Wonderful poem, Anne. You’ve put me into a meditative mood. I needed that.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
Glad to hear it had a good effect, thank you Thomas.
January 16th, 2013 at 3:45 am
Lovely poem Anne, left me feeling hollow and wistfull and grey, but in a still, calm way.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
Thanks very much for reading, Michele. It’s been fascinating to see the response to this one.
January 16th, 2013 at 9:26 am
So elegiac and sad. You paint a very vivid aural picture here, Anne.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
Thanks, Paul.
January 16th, 2013 at 10:01 am
I had to think about this poem. You’ve contrasted well between peaceful thought verses life’s ‘road’ where there is no time to think/stand still. Maybe the character in the poem watches and has a hidden desire to get into the fast lane? Maybe it’s the other way round? Maybe it’s neither! Anyway mad me think.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
Lol! You have so many IDs here, I can hardly keep up!
Thanks very much for your thoughts here, much appreciated.
January 16th, 2013 at 4:29 pm
I seem to have to put in an ID each time I comment!
January 16th, 2013 at 7:01 pm
I like the sounds in this – it seems lonely, but OK with that. Nicely done.
January 31st, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Thank you – and apologies for the late reply.
January 17th, 2013 at 4:27 am
I particularly like the last eight lines. I keep rereading them and there’s an elegance to the way they’re written that is really impressive.
January 21st, 2013 at 4:45 pm
Thanks so much, Adam.
January 23rd, 2013 at 9:48 pm
the words; ‘the driver just a blur of speed in a parallel universe’ took my muse on a tangent of drivers altering space-time the faster they drove. I’m sure it wasn’t ment to be literal. Silly muse.
Loved ‘in cold metallic determination’ – very iconic.
January 31st, 2013 at 4:15 pm
I think your muse may just have something there. Thank you for reading, and sorry for the late response – it’s been a hectic week!
January 31st, 2013 at 4:32 pm
It reminded me also of BobShaw’s sci-fi classic ‘Other Days, Other Eyes.’ where slow glass is accidentally invented and first used on windscreens. It causes no end of accidents because the light is delayed when it passes through the glass. The slow glass is later improved to slow light by days of even weeks in other applications and leads to huge changes in society. Thanks for the memory!
February 1st, 2013 at 3:05 pm
Glad if it sparked something, and thanks again Andrew.
February 4th, 2013 at 11:51 pm
I’ve read this through several times Anne and really like the poem. I like the way it appears to describe two different worlds, but in effect they are not separate. I enjoy the sense of isolation at the beginning, contrasting with a feeling of indifference towards the end.
Rob
February 5th, 2013 at 9:01 am
Thank you, Rob!
February 21st, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Nicely done. The pace is halting and increases the sad undertone of this poem.
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Thank you for your comment.
February 25th, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Poignant and sad…
but a great poem. Thanks for sharing – Jill
February 28th, 2013 at 10:23 am
Thank you, Jill.